28 Nov '16, 5pm

I’ve moved house now, so I can finally write about THE HORRORS OF MY NEIGHBOURS’ SEX NOISES: https://t.co/m1hVHpt3ZG

Instead, a girl turned up. And, yes, when we first heard them having sex , we stopped everything and listened. My wife and I sat there in silence for the duration of the act, raising our eyebrows and mouthing 'Is this weird?' to each other. Two strangers were having sex, and we were listening with the distant appreciation that most people reserve for classical recitals. It wasn't titillating , but it was a little furtive and exciting. I think they know. They must know that we were listening, because ever since then they've ramped up the volume incalculably. Now we don't need to turn the TV down when they have sex. In fact, it doesn't matter how far we turn the TV up, because the noise they make rattles the walls. These, in roughly chronological order, are the noises they make during sex:

Full article: http://www.tatler.com/news/articles/november-2016/what-to...

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