31 Dec '15, 12pm

If you really MUST be naughty at a party – do follow these rules https://t.co/nvmFqFVMxU

Be subtle. No exposed bits on the dancefloor, please. Try to wait until after 11pm, by which time everyone else should be a little drunk. If there is only one bathroom, be considerate, make it quick and for goodness' sake keep out of the bathtub. And no 'borrowing' of fancy face creams for lubrication either. No rutting on top of a pile of guests' coats in the spare bedroom. Underneath is only slightly more acceptable. Do not - repeat not - do it in the hostess's bed. Confine clandestine activities to large cupboards and random nooks. BUT if you should ever stumble upon a treehouse, it is actually rude not to. Don't fall asleep after finishing your business. Get back to the party as quickly as you can. The hostess has spent a lot of time and money on entertaining you. Wedding portaloos are not classy- even those 'posh' ones. They smell funny and they all bounce. Better by ...

Full article: http://www.tatler.com/news/articles/november-2015/shaggin...

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